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Fuck You and Fuck Your Feelings Too
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Manufacturer: Snarky Cards
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Feelings suck...
They make you late to work, they make you cry in public, or take chances on stupid things like an artist that you met a year ago, with beautiful dreadlocks and a penchant for big words. Maybe he tricked you into thinking that you had feelings for him. So, you put yourself out there, like you usually do, but this time, artist dude put himself out there back, and you might have had really, really hot sex for a little while, but then he stopped dealing with his feelings about other stuff, and he turned into an anger ball. And you were around, so he sorta threw it at you. And then he left. And now you feel stupid because you put yourself out there, and abandoned, because you were abandoned, and alone, which was fine for, like the last ten years. Because you were alone, but until artist dude came along, you didn't realize that alone does not always mean awesome. And, oh yeah, you want to cry a lot.
And the thing is, you're friends with a lot of alcoholics, who all have one thing in common, besides a deep desire to drink; they drink mostly because they don't wanna deal with their feelings. And you really, really like drinking. So, you don't wanna give that up. So you can't become an alcoholic, so you just have to fucking FEEL your fucking feelings. And it's really fucking uncomfortable.
So, you have to cry, like, every day, because stupid artist guy left this giant hole in your heart, when he took off. And also, you really miss the ten minute orgasms. And maybe it's sorta nice, because all of your friends are surprised you have feelings, and you've been listening to their heart-ache's for years, so you have all this listening time stored up, with all of your friends. So you can be totally whiny at a new one each day, and not even scratch the surface of all of your listening cache.
And you really hate feelings. Be warned. Something like that could happen to you. And this card might help you ease your own pain. I know it's kinda helping me out with my own situation. Which may or may not be described above.
Love,
Alisa
PS:
Remember! Snarky Cards are Post-Cards. They've got pretty pictures
hand-painted by Alisa on both sides, and the words are typewritten with
her Smith-Carona: Bob |
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